Yeah. I said it.
I had a red bull for the first time in, oh, three months, so bear with the thought process. I may be way too excited for something that simply doesn’t come across as interesting to the rest of the (writing, artistic, Liberal Arts) community.
I “failed” NaNoWriMo, mostly because of (insert excuse here), and partially because I had a kind-of awakening. A writing friend of mine (I have so few. Like, two? I need more…) and I talked about it, along with a post here and there concerning the sheer weight of what I found (re-found, really).
Write your story and STFU. I entered the project to see if I can write 50k on a novel I had no “inspiration” about. I can’t. I had many inspirational dreams (for instance, all-night tattoo session with a mystery woman: wtf?), many inspirational moments, but in the end, I learned so much more than what I expected. I must unlearn all I’ve picked up in the past three years. I must remove all the “education” I received (and by “remove,” I’m not removing what I learned about horrendous passive verb usage. Not happening). I must learn to infodump. I must learn to immerse. I must learn to invent and reinvent. I must make the story real, and keep the pace. Always with the pace.
So, I’m giving this another go. I want to write 50k in December. I want to do this because I feel I hiccuped on a particularly juicy appetizer, then lost interest in the main course. So I’ve vomited it all back up again, and am preparing to re-ingest. Nasty metaphor, I know. Yum.
The story I will be self e-publishing is a foray into something incredible. I love the story more (and have worked on it less) than any other piece I’ve finished, so I’m excited about that. I’ll pursue that once I get stabilized with a new job, after I get some cats, a new computer, and some money saved up for such a shindig.
I feel so backward, but not. Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was awesome. Hope your December is just as awesome.
Also, I wrote a second short story. I don’t think it’s worth a damn thing. Let’s hope I’m wrong.