David and His Shade Query Letter

I have a nasty habit: I love to screw with my query letters as a mindless pastime. It’s like writing a short story, where I have to make every word perfect. Theoretically every one of my words will sit just as perfect. Anyway, I think I’m finally at a place where I can show it off. (Note: I wrote this book in 6 months. I am currently in my first rewrite. It’s not ready to go out.) Please tell me what you think.

Ms. Agent/Publisher:

David and His Shade, my completed 115k YA Modern Fantasy novel, takes place on an alternative Earth where magic of all faith systems is real: religion, mythology, philosophy, and realities collide on an island off the coast of Oregon.

David Price thinks the greatest challenge he’d face his 7th grade summer is a three mile high spiritual journey to the top of a mountain in Tibet. As one of a hundred summer interns at a school of magic, the mountain is nothing compared to the challenges he’ll face to simply gain admittance to the school.

Unfortunately, David’s haunted. He’s been haunted since as far back as he can remember. Usually the shade David calls Cold Man only haunts his nightmares and seldom makes guest appearances in the real world, but when he enters the school, Cold Man seems to have taken an active interest in David’s magical career.

With shadowy “cleaners” watching over him as he sleeps, hanging gardens that kill the unsuspecting, and subject matter that could land him in prison for life if abused, David’s summer internship at Cliffsedge School of the Mind is anything but easy. Luckily for him, David found some pretty cool friends, including a bubbly redhead, Constance, that are as adventurous as he is.

Demons, angels, and reanimated elves are guest speakers. A tribe of “Lost Boys” bent on stealing magical wands for their Neverland war has its eye on David. And those nightmares David had when growing up are suddenly much more real, and ten times more dangerous.

Coupled with getting to know his classmates, dealing with a magical school filled with ghosts, mythical creatures, and political intrigue, and learning material way above his grade level, David must confront some of his darkest fears by learning the name of his shade—and finding a way to make it stop—while passing the internship to get into 8th grade.

The rest is just peer pressure.

I appreciate your time.


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